About 13 years ago I let the Goblin take control. I kept getting higher and higher, and loving it more and more. The nice warm mind blanket covered all my problems, weed was the ultimate release to me. My over-active mind settled and my fears evaporated. Why not hit some Cannabis, listen to soothing music, and do it every single day? I couldn’t find any reason to be sober.

At the beginning it was only the week-end. After a year of getting high on the week-ends, I started doing it during the week. I was getting too high, I knew it, I was willfully blind to my predicament because I enjoy Cannabis a lot.

I told the Goblin: “Maybe we should go down, we’re too high.”. He grinned at me and said: “No! Go up! Always up!” and for a year I was onboard the THC rocket-ship with the Goblin. A year of fun, smoking with my buddies almost everyday with a few breaks here and there. My Goblin got me good, I was deep in it before I realized I couldn’t really stop. I could stop consuming weed when it mattered, but I needed at least a small amount of it to feel fine. Without THC my body ached and my mind raced. As time went on it got worst and worst.

The Goblin had pointed the rocket-ship straight up at the sky, and I let him do it, I was fine with this at the beginning. As the rocket-ship got higher I started to lose sight of the ground, I stopped paying attention to thing and people I cared about. And at the same time, it was so good to be floating in space on the THC rocket-ship. My body floated, I didn’t have to think about any earthling problem. I missed my old life, but this life was... easier.

After 12 years in space, I’m ready to come back to earth. I pointed the ship downward, and I won’t redirect it until I’ve hit the ground. I am terrified of hitting the ground: it’s where all my old problems and fears are, but I can’t stay up there any longer. I know it’s going to hurt for days, weeks, and months when I finally quit for good. My body will ache and my mind will be on fire for weeks. It’s a small price to pay for what I will get back: myself.

Meanwhile the Goblin is doing everything he can to get me to bring the rocket-ship back up. He hurts me and claws at me and screams at me: “Take a hit! Just one hit and the pain will be gone!” I must ignore him and keep the ship downward.

I’m ready to crash back into reality.